As happens every evening the family asked me “what’s for dinner??”. It may sound silly to you but I find the burden of thinking about meals, juggling who likes what, matching that with my creativity and energy levels after a day at work a very big chore. So I suggest a few things from the shopping list is and none of them are right, someone doesn't feel like chicken, someone else has a sore tooth and cant chew well. So even after I've gone and done the shopping on my own on the weekend I head back to the shops to get something else. I decide to walk to the local shop, combine chore with exercise (great idea!) and my husband comes with me which is really nice.
Our dishwasher is out of action at the moment so all of the washing-up is done by hand, I know poor me!!! And I don't have the same in your family are in my family know one ever empties the dish drainer. I really don't know how they think it gets emptied and I'm sure I have some budding artists or tall building engineers and my family because the number of times I walked out and found dishes teetering on a dangerously steep angle is beyond counting.
So now there's more to empty from the drainer and the kids have less chores to do because their chore used to be emptying the dishwasher (give me time I’ll find more). I cook yummy meal that everybody can eat that meets everybody's requirements. I empty the full dish drainer, and even wash as I go, (my darling Mother taught me well).
It is only after we finished eating yummy meal, that I see my son in his room playing PlayStation, and I notice my husband and daughter in their lounge room watching TV. It's getting near eight o'clock and I'm getting tired so I start to clean. As I start cleaning, I know they can hear what I am doing, but has anyone come running to give me a hand? “No”. I decide that I will go into the lounge room and say to my husband and daughter “guys we need to sort out the washing up” my daughter doesn't even make eye contact she doesn't even look away from the TV, I'm sure she thinks if she ignores me I’ll go away. My husband looks at me puzzled and says, “What do you mean?” I say, “I cooked and now I'm cleaning and it's not fair”. What I would have liked him to say would be something like, “sure honey I’ll get onto it in a minute” but no instead he says in a very angry tone “Fine I’ll do it later” I feel like the dog poo someone has just trodden in.
I wonder is that how I said it or is this going to be one of the age old problem is that families face every day. Because doing things for people is how I show love, it is very hard for me to pull back and very easy for this to be taken advantage of. It's a very fine line and I have not yet found the answer. It hurts me so much when I feel unappreciated and when I take a leap of faith and says something like “guys I need a hand” and what I get back is their seeming annoyance at my disruption in their relaxation. I'm sure every single mother has felt this time and time again and I know I shouldn't take it personally but it is very very hard.